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Anyway, I feel like there was definitely a moment last night when we both said to ourselves, “Damn, are we actually doing this?! We went to our first couples therapy session together. He’s afraid of his commitment issues and doesn’t want to hurt me since he respects me. I learned early on that money does not make me happy. In therapy we talked about how I am extremely picky about who I date. I’ve wondered where the feelings actually come from, so I did some reading about it tonight. The play paints a pretty bleak picture of Americans in “Generation Me.” Maybe slightly ironic in the context of this project . The long distance scared him, and he broke off the relationship when she got back. I was slightly shaken up after the play so I told Tim about it to explain why I was acting strangely.” Is there anything that you want to do differently? I did insist that I pay for dinner since it was technically our first “date.” Additional comments? She texted me later that night: Did you see Timothy today? I go to therapy on my own, and have always enjoyed it. There are actually statistics that show that salary increase only make people happier until basic needs of food and water are met. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? However, when I do decide I really like someone, I am quick to jump into a relationship in order to test it out and see how it goes. Apparently, the feeling of falling in love is wired in us to help the survival of our species. I try not to look back too much and get caught up in the past, but sometimes it does unexpectedly creep back up on me. The misunderstanding and the Auto Correct drive me nuts. Between work functions and personal plans, I haven’t had a night off in over 10 days. As we were sitting in the theater waiting for the play to start, I was looking around everywhere.He’s built up this reputation for himself as a “player,” but I see past the façade.He’s been a great friend, and I know he’s a very kind person.FOMO is normal and natural, and of course, it’s going to get worse when you’re less busy than you were during the sunnier months.It’s important to rally round our friends and family, instead of coveting something just for the sake of comfort.With Christmas creeping up on us, and the nights starting to draw in, it can feel like everyone else is part of a couple.When people start sharing their cute photos at Winter Wonderland, or having Sunday roasts by the fire in the pub, the loneliness is ramped up and it can make you ask ‘why not me? However, as Lauren and her friend point out, ‘cuffing season’ (when everybody gets into a relationship in winter) is no reason to throw your standards out of the window.
As his relationship patterns are the opposite of mine, a part of me fears that if we were to really date, one of us might wind up getting hurt. We also have a tight group of friends, and I think we are both afraid to compromise that. In my work and other aspects of life, I am uncomfortable with comfortable. We both teach Wednesday nights, so we went out to dinner after class to the Fat Raddish. When we set the date for this project, I didn’t realize it was actually the first day of spring. Anyway, dinner tonight was pretty normal, not unlike other times we’ve hung out and had dinner. We talked about our families more than we ever did before. It was refreshing to hear this since I didn’t grow up with any money, either. Earlier in the day I sent a little note to Jessie by messenger. I’m not worried about the unknown, but about us falling into our usual roles, and how we deal with that.
I wonder if that is part of the reason I am always trying to find the right person and why I feel like such failure when a relationship doesn’t work out. Jessie is currently in therapy, so it’s all good with her too.